London is a very accepting place.
We should be proud of the fact that we live in a city where you can walk around dressed as a clown or a skeleton or a monkey and no one really cares.
But despite this relative indifference to things like seeing someone wandering up the Kingsland Road wearing a cape and carrying a boombox, or getting on the tube dressed as a panda, even London has its limits of what is acceptable and what isn’t.
And friends, there are some things you should never do when walking around London.
And thus I introduce to you number one on this list:
Watching a TV programme on your iPad while walking along Fleet Street in rush hour.
As spotted by me from the top deck of the bus yesterday.
By doing this, not only do you attract the attention of pickpockets – who don’t so much have to pick your pockets as pluck your most prized belongings from your outstretched hands – but you are also likely to get in the way of people who are walking very, very quickly because this is London, it’s 9am, and they are probably late.
That’s right. You, trying to navigate rush hour while watching last night’s Made in Chelsea with your earphones in and your eyes focused on a screen, are an obstacle.
There’s only one thing worse than being an obstacle by blocking the pavement with your lack of awareness and portable telly, and that’s being someone who uses their iPad to take a photos of things in general day-to-day life.
And trust me, no one wants to be that person.