As Monday’s post proved, there’s nothing a Londoner loves more than feeling a little bit superior to those around them.
Hark at those tourists who can’t pronounce our place names (Mary-Le-Bone indeed), and tut! Those fools who fling themselves at a closing door when there’s another train coming in one minute’s time. And oh, how we pity the misguided souls who get two trains from Great Portland Street to Regents Park instead of just crossing over the road.
“You’ll be waiting there a while!” laughed one smug bastard in Kentish Town the other day, as he sauntered past me waiting patiently at the bus stop. “There’s a hundred people waiting at the one before this!”
Others just can’t help themselves before giving a quick, disdainful shake of the head: “Those buttons don’t work. Haven’t for years” to the man frantically pressing the flashing Open Doors button on the Jubilee Line.
But fear not. While in the old days you had to work hard to be superior, these days, there’s a load of apps, Twitter accounts and websites to do it all for you. Here are some to try…
- Know your Tube Exits
Be the envy of your entire tube carriage with this handy little app that tells you which tube doors line up with the exits, ensuring you’ll always be first in the Daily Commuter Race Up The Stairs.
- Find a party when the pub shuts: 24 Hour London
“Oh, sure. I know a little place.” I bet you do. I’d know everything too if I had an app that told me all the nightspots open late in my bit of London.
- Know @whensmybus
Be the Buddha of the buses and the number 73 know-all; tweet your bus number and stop to @whensmybus to find out when the next one’s due.
- Get refunds from TFL or TubeTap
If you’re delayed for 15 minutes or more and it’s TFL’s fault (and let’s be honest, when is it ever not?), Boris owes you the price of a single journey. Claim it back, and for extra points, brag about it. Loudly.
- Prepare for War: Learn how to get a seat on the Overground
Know your enemies, strategically plan your position. This frankly masterful blog post from Brelson tells you how to win in the war for seats. Genius.
If I’ve missed your London mobile must-have, feel free to point, laugh and list them below.
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