Over the last few weeks, our slightly odd-ball Mayor of London, Boris-the-BoJo-Johnson has come out with some right old corkers in the quote department. Which is ironic, because according to Wikiquote, he was once fired from the Times for making up a quote – and now he seems to devote his time to ensuring that no one else ever has to.
Thanks for speaking out loud Boris, you amuse me.
On Prince Harry getting his kit off in Vegas:
“I think it’d be disgraceful if a chap wasn’t allowed to have a bit of fun in Las Vegas. The real scandal would be if you went all the way to Las Vegas and you didn’t misbehave in some trivial way.”
On his chances of running for Prime Minister:
“…how could anybody elect a prat who gets stuck in a zip wire”.
On the perils of working from home:
“We all know that is basically sitting wondering whether to go down to the fridge to hack off that bit of cheese before checking your emails again,” he said. “I don’t want to see too many of us doing that.”
On the Opening Ceremony:
“People say it was all leftie stuff. That is nonsense. I’m a Conservative and I had hot tears of patriotic pride from the beginning. I was blubbing like Andy Murray.”
On being really rather excited:
“The excitement is growing so much I think the Geiger counter of Olympo-mania is going to go zoink off the scale,” Mr Johnson said to cheers from the crowd.
On beach volleyball:
“As I write these words there are semi-naked women playing beach volleyball in the middle of the Horse Guards Parade immortalised by Canaletto. They are glistening like wet otters and the water is plashing off the brims of the spectators’ sou’westers. The whole thing is magnificent and bonkers.”
…and the British knack for gardening:
“In the heart of the Olympic Park there are riparian meadows of wildflowers whose colour and glory are heart-breaking. There are cornflowers and vipers bugloss and rare and delicate orchids that are being neither trampled nor picked – but simply admired, by vast crowds, as evidence of our national genius for gardening.”
Got a quote I’ve missed? Send forth below. Otherwise, enjoy the Bank Holiday Weekend – woooooyeah!
Also – If you want to keep up to speed on all things She Loves London over the weekend, i.e. me getting 1) a bit drunk and 2) a bit drenched at Somerset House outdoor film screening (sod you, rain) you can follow me on Twitter, or like She Loves London on Facebook.