She Loves London

Author: She Loves London

  • This Is Easily The Most Important Rule Of Commuting in London

    This Is Easily The Most Important Rule Of Commuting in London

    One of the biggest daily issues Londoners face is avoiding acquiantances on their commute.

    Much like how planes stay in the sky through the collective will of 300 people, London’s transport system runs on the unspoken agreement that obligatory conversations about whether this week is

    a) dragging
    b) going really quickly
    c) ever going to be over!

    belong in the kitchen at work, not a Jubilee line platform pre 9am, the 07:32 Watford to Euston, or the number 38 bus.

    Although if you have a dog I may talk to you

    This is precisely why Londoners don’t look at each other on public transport.

    It’s not strangers we’re trying to avoid, it’s mistakenly locking eyes with someone we know.

    Because when that happens, you have to quickly calculate the number of possible conversation topics versus remaining tube stops, and decide whether you’re going to begrudgingly remove your headphones, or stop walking, slowly avert your gaze, turn around, walk to the opposite end of the platform, and research alternative routes to work

    Thankfully most Londoners respect the rules.

    We’ve perfected looking both directly at and through people at the same time, thus avoiding ever having to acknowledge someone’s presence.

    But sometimes people go rogue, and we’ve all felt the impending doom of a cheery ‘oh, hello, do you get this train too?’. We’ve witnessed the too-long gaps between conversations about weekends plans and office tea shortages and ‘where do you live then?’ echoing through an otherwise silent carriage.

    We’ve felt the pain of two acquaintances five minutes into their joint journey, inwardly counting down the stops, wondering how they got to this point, what they could have done differently, where did they go wrong?

    My favourite bus is an empty one

    Commuting is like brushing your teeth.

    It’s a personal, twice-daily routine you sort of weirdly look forward to, things only go wrong if you try talking at the same time.

    We all have stuff planned for that 45 minute slot: reading books (see below), listening to podcasts, silently judging everyone around us, compiling a particularly banging early noughties playlist on Spotify, or repeatedly refreshing Twitter on our phone.

    But commutes are sacred, and rules are rules: without them London doesn’t run. So stand on the right, let people off before you get on, and if you see someone you know getting on your bus, do the right thing: let them travel alone.

    Want something like this in your inbox every week, as well as some ideas for the weekend?



  • Here’s Something Cool I Found In Holborn On My Lunch Break

    Here’s Something Cool I Found In Holborn On My Lunch Break

    What’s the nicest thing about London in summer?

    Is it the raft of pop-up events? Is it Pimms? Is it not wearing tights? Is it socialising with friends instead of staying in and watching Netflix?

    No. The nicest thing about summer is that we don’t have to eat lunch at our desks surrounded by our colleagues and the pungent waft of last night’s microwaved fish.

    Jokes, colleagues! Jokes! Jokes!

    Jokes
    Joke
    Jok
    Jo

    The weird thing about working near one of London’s best food markets is that there aren’t actually that many places around to sit and eat the food.

    There’s no big Golden Square or St James’ Park or Regent’s Park, so you’ve got to trot a bit to Grays Inn Gardens or Lincolns Inn Fields or do laps waiting for a bench on Baldwin’s Gardens until there’s somewhere to sit.

    But another decent place is Waterhouse Square in Holborn, which is cool because it’s got benches and looks like this:

    The other day I was in the far corner trying to read a book and eat a halloumi wrap.

    This requires a not unreasonable amount of skill, determination, napkins, and a longer attention span than I’ve got, which is why I gave up and noticed two people staring into a little alcove to my left.

    Then they went and two more people came.

    And I was like WTF are they all looking at?

    What could possibly be commanding the attention of a steady stream of people into the far corner of this big Hogwarty lunch square?

    Charles Dickens.

    Obvs.

    Turns out all this time I’ve been eating lunch in the exact same place that one of literature’s most famous writers lived while writing a book I haven’t read.

    And they made a statue of his head, which has since replaced “get a novel dedicated to me” on my  list of Things I’d Ideally Like To Achieve.

    For some reason they’ve encased his face in a glass casket so the reflection gets in the way, and plonked a security camera above it just in case you… try to steal his head? Rub his nose for good luck?

    Who nose.

    Sorry.

    Anyway, I recommend popping by if you like books and also want a nice place to eat lunch. Just don’t try to do both at the same time.

    If you know of somewhere else good round here, leave it below.



  • A Complete Guide to the Best Animals I Saw in the Galapagos

    A Complete Guide to the Best Animals I Saw in the Galapagos

    In April I went to the Galapagos Islands.

    If you watch Planet Earth on the BBC you’ll know it as the place where David Attenborough, aka the Animal King aka Captain Nature aka Chief Inspector of Wildlife spends our licence fee, something I am actually more than ok with.

    If you’re not familiar, they’re basically an isolated group of volcanic islands about 1000km off the coast of Ecuador where Darwin rocked up and was like holy cow, this place is nuts, I need to write a book.

    The next thing you need to know is that it’s the coolest place in the world you could ever ever go, even better than France. And the other thing you need to know is that there isn’t a single animal species in the Galapagos who gives a shit about you.

    This is kind of hard to swallow when you get there because you’ve essentially saved up three month’s rent to go, so a little bit of recognition for your efforts would have been nice.

    But it’s also a good thing because it means in the Galapagos, animals are the boss. They’re top of the food chain; the kings and queens. They are protected, and you humans, quite frankly, are not. You’re not even on their radar. You’re just there to fund their long, evolutionary life. If anything, if animals in the Galapagos learnt to use cameras, which given the weird stuff I saw, wouldn’t be an impossibility, they’d be taking photos of you.

    Anyway, I saw loads of animals on my trip, and although I don’t discriminate because officially they were all very good, here’s a non-scientific guide to my favourites.

    1. This sealion who was basically me on a hangover

    Swap the bench for a sofa and the similarities are astounding.

    2. The Marine Iguanas who were well aware it was a shared path

    But, being the only species of their type on the entire planet, they also really don’t care that you want to get by.

    3. The blue-footed boobie who’s looking pretty pleased with himself

    Although to be fair, if you were called a “boobie” and those were your feet, this would probably be your face too.

    4. This Giant Tortoise who’s half the size of a tree

    ..and older than your entire family. It’s a long, slow life, and this guy has Seen. Some. Things.

    5. The Frigatebird who knows the way to a woman’s heart

    And it’s through his massive inflated red chest pouch, obviously.

    6. The Galapagos Penguin who just wants to know what you’re up to, really

    And is flagrantly ignoring the two metre rule in order to find out.

    7. The short eared owl who looks smug because no one’s trying to kill him.

    In case you were wondering, this is the face of a usually nocturnal bird who’s evolved to do daylight because he’s got no natural predators. The bones of his prey were scattered opposite on a rock. Be polite.

    8. This red-footed boobie who’s looking absolutely radiant in blue

    Imagine for one second, a world where all birds had multi-coloured beaks. Actually, imagine if you had this beak. It’s a great beak.

    9. The land iguana who’s completely nailing camouflage

    This season I’ll mostly be matching my food to my clothes in homage to South Plaza’s resident rock-and-flower coloured lizard.

    10. The 3 metre long Galapagos Shark(s) continually circling your boat looking for lunch

    Unfortunately, lunch wasn’t getting in the water that day. Lunch was very much staying on the upper deck.

    11. This pelican who can and will wait all day for a fish

    Patience. Patience. And then, when the time is right: GULP.

    12. And finally, this brown labrador puppy

    Really not sure how this one got onto the beach. Pretty sure there were no dogs allowed.

    To see more photos from my Galapagos trip, go have a look at my travel photo account on Instagram.

    Or subscribe to this blog’s newsletter below so the next time I bang on about it, which will probably be soon, you’ll be all over it, won’t ya?