Category: At Street Level

Observations, overheard conversations and other stuff from the streets of London.

  • Flashback: East London, Saturday Night. Lockdown Edition.

    Flashback: East London, Saturday Night. Lockdown Edition.

    Saturday night in Shoreditch has always meant queues to get in, and tonight is no different. A line extends across the front of a Vietnamese restaurant and, a few doors down, another dotted strip of figures reaches towards Rolling Stock, the nightclub under the bridge. The doors to both are firmly shut.

    In their place, two unlikely weekend hotspots experience a resurgence – Sainsbury’s and The Grocery, the latter complete with outdoor hand sanitising station – bringing the crowds in.

    I’d left my flat half an hour earlier without much of a plan or daylight left to play with, just my headphones and a disjointed need for a quiet Saturday night out of the house. Seen from the top of Kingsland Road, the glass towers of east London usually signal precisely the opposite. But this is London stalled, a city in reverse. The A-roads of Zone 1 are calm and dead, but I look both ways in the local park.

    So music on, a bad mood to shift, the enthusiasm for group video calls wearing thin: I walk, percolating the day’s non-events, until the food shoppers and early evening strollers thin out somewhere between Liverpool Street and Shoreditch.

    It would be easier to walk past the boarded up pubs, the empty restaurants, the shuttered bars, without an intimate knowledge of what Saturday night in east London is normally like.

    But the dissonance is distracting, and by the time I’ve turned right onto Threadneedle Street my headphones are hanging around my neck. Near Bank, traffic lights tell an empty road when to stop and go. Only a recorded voice echos up the steps of the station, where two old Evening Standards rustle on the steps below.

    I wanted quiet, and here it is: just a distant hum with seagulls – seagulls? – calling over it like a token sound effect.

    Tonight an ambling, vaguely cyclical walk to St Paul’s and back is what passes for progress. What else can you do when everything else has stopped? The nights out, the social life, the holidays, the career plans, all the markers I use to assess how I’m getting on. I might have always preferred not to look too far ahead, but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a plan.

    Saturday night is drawing on and my feet are starting to hurt. Somewhere by Barbican the realisation dawns that there’s no transport home, and I’m tired, it’s getting dark. The buses aren’t for me, and a Boris bike from outside St Bart’s Hospital doesn’t seem like a good idea. The sun sets as I cut back towards Old Street roundabout, and begin the long, slow walk back east and home.

    This first appeared in my newsletter, which goes out around once a week at the moment because let’s be honest, not much else going on is there? You’ll get something like this, plus a few links to good, London related stuff I’ve found on the web. I’ll get happy someone’s signed up. Win-win. Sign up here.

  • Here’s Something Cool I Found In Holborn On My Lunch Break

    Here’s Something Cool I Found In Holborn On My Lunch Break

    What’s the nicest thing about London in summer?

    Is it the raft of pop-up events? Is it Pimms? Is it not wearing tights? Is it socialising with friends instead of staying in and watching Netflix?

    No. The nicest thing about summer is that we don’t have to eat lunch at our desks surrounded by our colleagues and the pungent waft of last night’s microwaved fish.

    Jokes, colleagues! Jokes! Jokes!

    Jokes
    Joke
    Jok
    Jo

    The weird thing about working near one of London’s best food markets is that there aren’t actually that many places around to sit and eat the food.

    There’s no big Golden Square or St James’ Park or Regent’s Park, so you’ve got to trot a bit to Grays Inn Gardens or Lincolns Inn Fields or do laps waiting for a bench on Baldwin’s Gardens until there’s somewhere to sit.

    But another decent place is Waterhouse Square in Holborn, which is cool because it’s got benches and looks like this:

    The other day I was in the far corner trying to read a book and eat a halloumi wrap.

    This requires a not unreasonable amount of skill, determination, napkins, and a longer attention span than I’ve got, which is why I gave up and noticed two people staring into a little alcove to my left.

    Then they went and two more people came.

    And I was like WTF are they all looking at?

    What could possibly be commanding the attention of a steady stream of people into the far corner of this big Hogwarty lunch square?

    Charles Dickens.

    Obvs.

    Turns out all this time I’ve been eating lunch in the exact same place that one of literature’s most famous writers lived while writing a book I haven’t read.

    And they made a statue of his head, which has since replaced “get a novel dedicated to me” on my  list of Things I’d Ideally Like To Achieve.

    For some reason they’ve encased his face in a glass casket so the reflection gets in the way, and plonked a security camera above it just in case you… try to steal his head? Rub his nose for good luck?

    Who nose.

    Sorry.

    Anyway, I recommend popping by if you like books and also want a nice place to eat lunch. Just don’t try to do both at the same time.

    If you know of somewhere else good round here, leave it below.



  • This is What Happens When You Get a Night Bus in London

    This is What Happens When You Get a Night Bus in London

    Let’s talk about night buses.

    For the uninitiated, night buses are pretty much how everyone under 35 gets home after 12am.

    It’s well documented that people over that age don’t leave the house after dark, or if they do, and by some huge critical error they miss the last tube, they’ll pretty much only travel in a black limousine or Uber XL and that’s just how it is.

    The truth is they’re missing out, because night buses are a London institution.

    A world unto themselves, everyone’s got a night bus story because they have the potential to be either the very worst or very best thing you’ve ever encountered at 3am, depending on:

    1) how much you’ve had to drink

    2) whether the person sitting next to you is awake, asleep, vomiting, singing, or trying to chat you up

    3) whether you fancy them 

    Case in point, my mates Beth and Alf actually met while waiting for a night bus in Dalston. Three years on from that blissful journey they can now hold up their very own baby human as proof that the 243 to Waterloo can successfully get you home and help you tick off some life goals at the same time.

    So quite frankly, cheers to that.

    on the bus

    It wasn’t always like this though.

    If you’re the rare type of Londoner who once lived in the north west area of Zone 5 before moving more centrally, perhaps you too can relate to a time when night buses were absolutely not the first resort.

    They were the very ultimate last resort, and for good reason.

    (Knives)

    Back then, nights out in London always involved going somewhere a bit crap because you didn’t know anywhere better than Storm in Leicester Square, or Jewel in Piccadilly Circus, or even worse, Cargo in Shoreditch, but on top of that you’d always have the massive hassle of getting home to suburbia, via either

    1) The Last Tube

    = night spent in a state of low level anxiety, alternating between power-drinking, obsessive time checking, and attempting to calculate whether you could have one more vodka before catching two tubes and the last Metropolitan line train from Baker Street at 11:54.

    2) The First Tube

    = brilliant idea at 2am; becomes markedly less brilliant when the club shut at 4am, leaving you and your waning enthusiasm outside Farringdon station in the cold for a two hours before boarding what would inevitably be a Sunday rail replacement bus service back to the sticks.

    3) Cab

    = half an hour of running up and down High Holborn trying to locate a black Vauxhall Zafira before your phone battery gave out, then sinking into a Magic FM induced coma on the A40 clutching a box of cold chips you weren’t allowed to eat.

    And if all those failed, then there was always one final choice:

    4) The N18

    = two hour bus journey through the bowels of North West London.

    Choose this, and you’ve basically opted to spend 45 minutes searching the sky for Nelson’s Column – the drunk Londoner’s compass point in the days before the Shard  – and making your way to Trafalgar Square ready to commence a two hour hell-traverse through Stonebridge, Harlesden, Sudbury, Wembley and Harrow on the Hill.

    In short, no one would choose that.

    No one.

    Trafalgar Square N18 night bus
    Photo: Nico Hogg (Flickr)

    But once you live in central London it’s a different ballgame. 

    Journeys are shorter; more convenient.

    Play your cards right and a night bus will get you home, or at least to the next bar, with a new group of temporary party mates.

    Besides, as anyone in east London will tell you, you haven’t really lived until you’ve got a story about that time the entire top deck of the N76 erupted into a Disney singalong led by a man known by his friends as “Pesky Dave”.

    But in all the journeys home on the local night bus, none have ever come close to what I’m about to show you.

    Because a few weeks ago, I shared my night bus home with this.

    dog rabbits night bus she loves london

    I can’t remember if this photo was before or after the dog chased the rabbit around the bottom deck of the bus at full speed, darting under seats and generally running amok.

    dog rabbits night bus she loves london3

    All I know is that the moment this dog and that rabbit got on the same seat will remain etched in my memory forever.

    dog rabbits night bus she loves london2

     

    See? What did I tell you:

    Night bus + Life goals = Complete.

    Seen something better? Tell me immediately. I need to know.