She Loves London

Tag: Summertime

  • What To Bring To Somerset House for Film4 Summer Screen

    What To Bring To Somerset House for Film4 Summer Screen

    Every year, me and my friends go to Somerset House for the Film4 Summer Screen.

    The first time we went, it rained – hard – but amazingly, despite our soggy bottoms we went on to have one of the best nights of the year. If you’re lucky it’ll be one of those lovely summer evenings, but even if it’s not, you’ll have a lovely time. Providing you’ve got the right stuff.

    So to help the masses, here’s everything a slightly OCD Virgo (a.k.a. me) would would want to know before going to a Somerset House film screening for the first time (and if it’s looking like rain, go here).

    somerset house summer screen

    1. Get there early

    If you’re in a group (or solo and want to starfish), get there when the doors open at half six. After seven you’ll have a hard job finding a big space but might be able to squeeze in, and any later than that you’re going to struggle. My advice? Go down around 6.30pm, claim your patch, and settle in for the long haul. Then throw mad evils at anyone who impinges on your territory. Like the girls next to us did. Mehhhh.

    2. Order takeaway pizza

    The film won’t start until 9pm, so bring supplies. Order yourself a takeaway from Pizza Express next door, or Pizza Hut further towards Charing Cross station if you’re a massive dirtbag. Just don’t get salad. Film or no film, no one needs that in their lives.

    3. Basically, just bring your own food

    There is food inside Somerset House, but it’s a bit on the pricey side. Same goes for the booze. On which note:

    4. Bring booze in plastic bottles

    No glass is allowed, so go for a two litre cocktail of fun. One small bottle of vodka decanted into a big plastic bottle, with 1.5 litres of tonic = a party. If it’s cold, flask it up with some Irish coffee. There’s a Tesco on the corner of Waterloo Bridge if you need to grab supplies (plastic cups all the way), or else you could always just go nuts on the free shots of Bordeaux wine inside. No one’ll notice.

    5. Don’t scrimp on the fluffy blankets

    Even if it’s 20+ degrees: the blankets. Bring the blankets. You’ll want one to sit on, and one big fluffy fleecy number to wrap yourself in from about half an hour into the film. Better yet, bring a sleeping bag. Trust me. They’re perfect.

    6. Don’t be stingy on the pillow front

    Bring two: one big enough to prop your head up so you can lie down, and one for your bum. Oh, and that’s one each. Sharing’s not caring, folks, it’s just blummin’ uncomfortable.

    7. Go with a boyfriend / teddy bear / friends you don’t mind spooning with

    Look, this is one of the best nights you’re going to have all summer. Mark my words, when the temperature drops a few degrees and you’ve quaffed twenty of those freebie wine shots, you’re going to be feeling the love. So while the couples do their disgusting snuggling, all you singles (hollaaaa) will want to be stationed next to someone you can share the spoony warmth with. Cosy up, folks.

    8. Smokers: embrace fake fags

    Even though it’s outdoors and open air, all you smokers are banished to the outskirts. You’ll be demoted to the back corners of the courtyard if you want to have a puff, so it’s probably time to whip out the electric versions if you don’t want get up mid-film.

    9. If someone gives you their spare tickets for free, at least offer to buy them a drink

    This one goes out to the couple standing outside who were gifted two of our spare tickets at the last minute. A cider would be, lovely, thanks! Oh…wait…no. lolz! You didn’t ask.

    10. Be a bit smug.

    You’re at one of the best evenings in London all summer. It’s sold out. Sit back, relax and try not to go to the loo during the good bits.

    You’re going to have a very nice time indeed.

    Are you going to a Film4 screening this year?

  • French Bulldog Parties and Other Stuff You Find in Regent’s Park

    It is officially “park weather”.

    Park Weather is when London pretends to be summer for like a day.

    Park Weather means you leave the house even though it’s your official day of rest, only to find yourself sporadically whipped by gusts of wind that leave you shivering on the grass, wrapped in your portable tartan picnic blanket, looking longingly at the part of sky where the sun used to be because your bedroom window lied and it’s still absolutely bloody freezing.

    You know, Stupid Park Weather.

    regents park april
    Classic “park weather”

    All it takes is one hint of sunshine and we’re out.

    Lining the aisles of Tesco Metro clutching cans of gin-in-a-tin and a pack of Pringles, frantically yelling “SUN’S OUT, LET’S GO TO THE PARK, ASSEMBLE, ASSEMBLE” into our phones and wondering whether to wear a waterproof coat over all our ambitiously summer-like clothing.

    And so I found myself on a bench in Regent’s Park at the weekend, dropping location pins into a Whatsapp chat and awaiting the arrival of my mates Em (human) and Buster (dog), a bag of tubular supplies at my feet and the wind…

    Oh, the wind.

    one ear up dog
    Ear malfunction

    It was while I was considering the true meaning of the acronym BST when my phone rang, and a voice said:

    “Hey so I’m near where you are, but have just stumbled upon what appears to be a French Bulldog convention, and there’s about 50 dogs and their owners just standing about having a chat. Want to meet here instead?”

    …to which I replied “What yes where?” and within minutes, my Regent’s “Park Weather” Day Out had begun in the best way possible.

    With loads of French Bulldogs having a massive bulldog party.

    That’s right my friends, London’s population of Frenchies had gathered for their monthly en mass walk in Regent’s Park.

    There were loads of them. All in one place.

    Playing and stuff.

    It was…beautiful.

    bulldog party

    Obviously, at the time we didn’t know it was a regular monthly thing.

    To us it was just a huge, random gathering of exactly the same sort of dog, like a magical dream, so we just sort of stood around watching them for a while, a bit baffled, not really knowing what was going on and saying things like

    “what the hell”

    “I don’t understand”

    and

    “look that one’s wearing a stripy jumper”

    loads of bulldogs in the park

    Eventually we dragged ourselves away from the bulldogs.

    There were other things vying for my attention, such as the fact that Regent’s Park also seemed to be attracting a lot of people with wheels for feet.

    I’m not sure when it became ok to rollerblade again in public, but I saw one person doing it in Old Street the other day and then this, so it’s safe to say after years in 90s exile, wheelyfeeting around the place is quite possibly “back”.

    I wasn’t sure how to feel about this turn of events, but to be fair, at the time I was preoccupied with how the conversation went before this couple left the house that day.

    wheels for feet
    “No, you take the blades today. I’ll walk. Slowly. Away from you.”

    Another thing I noticed was some fairly ambiguous topiary.

    I’m assuming it’s someone’s job to be the Royal Parks Custodian of Foliage, which means someone is responsible for the fine feat of bushy engineering below.

    Say what you see folks, just say what you see.

    turd topiary

    But then came the surest sign of all that London Park Weather was in session. 

    A moment’s revered silence please, while we all stand back and commend this man for his choice of trousers.

    So pink.

    So Sunday.

    So very Park Weather.

    pink trousers

    Oh, Park Weather. We love you. Welcome back.

    Long may you continue, all the way until at least 6pm tomorrow.

  • 7 Ways You Can Tell it’s Definitely Summer in London

    7 Ways You Can Tell it’s Definitely Summer in London

    Ladies and gentlemen of London, allow me to introduce you to a brief blip of time commonly known as “proper summer”.

    It doesn’t happen very often, but when this rare occurrence does appear for two weeks of the year (and not a day more, them’s the rules), things tend to go down a little bit like this…

    1. The “Indoor Guilt” epidemic sets in

    After the first day of sustained sunshine, anyone thinking they might just head straight home after work is instead compelled to stand outside the nearest pub with a pint in their hand. This happens even if you don’t really want a pint, and even if the pavement outside that pub is in the shade, and even if the streets around Soho create a sort of wind-tunnel making everyone outside the pub feel a little bit nippy and like they might like to go inside now. No matter. The sun is out, and therefore Londoners must congregate on pavements.

    Drinking on Tysoe Street

     

    2. Famous literary characters “pop up” in the Serpentine

    If you think about it (and we all have at some point), just when is the right time to put a 12 foot fibreglass statue of Mr Darcy in the middle of a lake in London, and have him emerge from the water like a damp, handsome, 20th Century Godzilla?

    Summer, that’s when. darcy_serpentine

     

    3. Locals make use of any outdoor space they have access to

    Here in the urban jungle, where gardens and terraces and patios are but a pipe dream and the windows in our flats don’t open fully in case you fall out, the next best thing is to climb outside and dangle in whatever open space you can reach. Simply swing freely on your windowsill and feel that breeze, and later, the burn in your arm as you cling to the side of your house shouting “heeeelllpppp”.

    dalston house hanging out(…or at least, go to Dalston House -above – and pretend to)

    4. Every blog, website and magazine in the world city releases a list of “top 10 amazing epic brilliant rooftop bars in London”.

    While editors, journalists and writers might think this is the best idea ever, most Londoners know that the implied casual breeziness of “rocking up” to one of these rooftop bars is a little bit ambitious in reality. And by “reality”, I mean when you’re trying to get your booze on at 7pm on a Tuesday. Because we are in London, and that is how we roll.

    dalston roof gardens queue

     

    5. Buses get really really really hot

    “This bus is very hot!” the Londoners cried.

    “How hot?” wondered the rest of the world.

    “Well, according to the thermometer on my knee, the number 38 bus has reached exactly 30 degrees centigrade.”

    “But that is the maximum temperature for transporting cattle and other farm animals across Europe!” said the world.

    “We know” the Londoners mooed, solemnly shaking their heads and jingling their cowbells. “And with hooves for feet, we cannot even open a window.”

    “That’s because there are no windows on this bus.”

    “Oh. That explains it.”

    Dave Hill knee

    (the actual reason for Dave Hill’s themo-knee-shot is here)

    6. Big, massive, blue (and largely pointless) fans begin blowing hot air along Underground platforms

    Don’t get me wrong, they look impressive:

    fans undergroundBut as to the effectiveness of these largely pointless hot air fans, London remains undecided.
    windy tunnel

    7. But the real reason you know it’s summer is that for two weeks of the year, no one has to eat lunch from a tupperware box

    Sayonara tupperware! Begone microwavable leftovers! Praise be to Pret, hour long lunch breaks and free ping pong tables in Embankment Gardens. Summer: from 12-2pm Monday to Friday,  the workers of London are officially away from their desks and in you, secretly wishing they all worked in the media where it’s ok to wear shorts.

    Embankment Gardens at lunch

    In conclusion, bring on the weekend.

    If you know somewhere good to burn to a crisp this weekend without a queue to get in, share the wealth. I won’t tell anyone*.

    *this is just a small lie. Follow me on Twitter or Facebook if you want to know more *wink*