She Loves London

Tag: On the bus

  • Back to Work Day 2014 Currently has Severe Delays

    Back to Work Day 2014 Currently has Severe Delays

    This morning the entire mass of everyone ever in the world descended on the London transport system for the Annual Back to Work After Christmas and the New Year Day 2014.

    Apparently around the UK, this day is also known as “Blue Monday”.

    But if you live in London you’ll be familiar with it as “the day everything always breaks all at once.”

    https://twitter.com/touchofadiamond/status/420118388732887040

    For those heading towards the tube, the morning looked a bit like this:

    on the tube

    And for those on the buses, well – our morning looked more like this:

    on the bus

    And thus the New Year properly began, and it was back to business as usual in London.

    https://twitter.com/katherinepoole/status/420116822407806976

    However, ALL IS NOT LOST.

    You don’t have to let Blue Monday win. We could all follow the example of this man, who was spotted capitalising on the unusually high amount of commuters on the streets by holding a placard with his requirements on it, and attempting to find a girlfriend.

    Bravo that man.

    So if you know a brunette who fits the bill, be sure to put her in touch with Gerald. Spread a little cheer.

    Welcome back to work, everyone. See you in the gym tonight?

  • Someone Should Start a New Tumblr Called “Weird Stuff on Top of Bus Stop Shelters”

    Someone Should Start a New Tumblr Called “Weird Stuff on Top of Bus Stop Shelters”

    There’s some really odd stuff sitting on the top of London’s bus stops.

    When you get the bus as much as I do, you start to wonder who puts them there.

    As far as prerequisites go, they’d have to be tall, carry a step ladder around, or have a mate who doesn’t mind having someone stand on their shoulders while they hoist a lampshade onto the roof. In the dark.

    Outside Beyond Retro in Dalston there used to be a typewriter on the bus shelter. At another one on Kingsland Road, a pair of DM style boots. All over east London into the city, you’ll find neon potatoes with cotton buds sticking out of them, placed there for the purposes of art and, I’m guessing, the entertainment of commuters on the top deck of the 243.

    And on Essex Road yesterday?

    A toaster.

    IMG_2312

    Luckily for you I’m not going to start a new blog called “Weird Stuff on Top of Bus Stops” because that would be boring and a pretty niche way to spend an evening.

    But if you choose to set up that blog, you won’t be short of stuff to put on it.

    Also, credit me, because you heard it here first.

    No, you’re welcome.

  • London Life Problems: Why We’re Always Running Late

    London Life Problems: Why We’re Always Running Late

    In London, timekeeping isn’t really our forte.

    Just as losing half of your flat deposit is a normal part of renting from an estate agent (this week I found out it costs a landlord £300 to paint a wall – who knew?) being late for things is part of everyday London life. And that’s despite our impressive collective walking speed, which is roughly 5 mph faster than the European average*.

    *made up stat

    Clearly, we try not to be late – have you ever seen a Londoner going for a stroll? – but experience tells us that in a city of this size, with this much going on…it’s simply not possible.

    Londoners are late because London makes us that way.

    London rush hour
    This isn’t even sped up.

     

    It’s not our fault, you see.

    Theoretically we know it’s possible to get everywhere – east, west, north, south, or to the pub down the road – in “about 20 minutes” – but London continually precludes us from doing so.

    We face severe delays, buses on diversion and slow walking tourists; tube doors that shut seconds before we get to them, and sometimes a wait of up to six minutes for a Jubilee line train instead of two. With all that to contend with, is it any surprise that our timekeeping isn’t up to scratch?

     

    running-late-in-London

     

    That being said, there are of course exceptions.

    It’s easy to spot a Londoner who manages to consistently run on time. They’re the ones standing alone outside pubs, bars, restaurants and tube stations, waiting for everybody else.

    Their friends arrive 15 minutes later – sweaty, flustered from speed walking – armed with entirely valid excuses: “bus nightmare – the driver stopped at every single red light” or “sorry I’m late, there were pandas on the tube again – you know how it is”.

    At this point, friends must offer sympathies and tell their own journey story (“reduced escalator service, for gods sake”), and then everyone can get on with the day.

    Even the most improbable excuses are based on fact

    Above all, it’s just evolution.

    Whereas the inhabitants of other cities around the world have evolved to “get up earlier” or “leave an extra 20 minutes, just in case”, Londoners have developed a different set of coping skills.

    We tut at the traffic, walk really quickly, and mutter “for gods sake, move” at people we deem to be going too slowly. And if time starts to get really tight in the morning, we just take our make-up onto the tube, have a shave on the train, or bring our mug of steaming hot coffee onto the bus with us.

    Mug of coffee on the London bus

     

    Because although we could leave earlier, we know we shouldn’t have to. This is a big city, after all. It’s not us that’s late, it’s everything else failing to run on time.

    And in London, that’s just the way it is.

    Images: imgur, @ampers via Flickr