She Loves London

Tag: On the bus

  • On the 149 to London Bridge

    On the 149 to London Bridge

    I have an enduring respect for the girl who, at 9:16am on Monday morning, barrels up the stairs of the 149 to London Bridge. 

    I’m not the only person to look up a bit surprised, because you don’t see many four year olds alone on the daily commute, and we watch as she pauses, waiting, trying to decide what to do next.

    We’ve all been there: we’ve all risked it in rush hour, gone up to the top deck knowing the odds but giving it a go anyway, tilting our chin up, peering expectantly looking for a spare seat while also trying to discreetly check why it might be free. And there you are in front of everyone, head bobbing side to side, squinting down the bus. A pointless move at this time of day and everyone knows it, so you have to retreat quietly back down the stairs while, you imagine, the seated roll their eyes at the back of your head. 

    But she’s not like us, this girl, mostly because she’s four and unspoken bus etiquette hasn’t got into her head yet – so she stands there, waiting patiently at the front by the stairs.

    Then her dad appears – but the bus is full, right, so I expect him to look around and see there aren’t any spare seats and do that slightly chastising louder voice parents do when they’re saying something more for the benefit of the adults around them than the kid, and announce that there’s no space, sweetheart, let’s leave these good people alone and go back down. But instead the girl – a pink plastic headband made of tiny flowers around her head – looks up at him. And in a quiet, encouraging way – more eyes than voice – he says:

    “Go on.” 

    And then she steps between the bulky jackets and belongings, and squeezes into the aisle space between the front row of seats. Their occupants shift slightly at the intrusion, then relax slightly when they see who’s causing it, and shuffle their bags about to make space. And the whole time her dad stands there, not apologising or getting in the way, just letting her get on with what I like to think is a daily routine. No one offers to give up their seats, and they’re not expected to really, no one expects anyone else to get up.

    And anyway, the girl’s fine. She’s dead centre at the front of the bus, both hands grasping the horizontal rail, eyes straight ahead: transfixed. 

    She’s looking out of that big window, a prime spot between the seats everyone likes the best, because from there it’s like the bus is calmly floating through the city instead of whizzing past it.

    And occasionally, she just glances back at us – the stupid grown ups with our headphones in, stroking our tiny screens like delicate eggs  – giving us this look that says, you’re all adults and can do what you want, so why are none of you doing this?

    This originally went out in my weekly newsletter. Want something like it in your inbox every week? Course you do. Find out more and sign up here.

  • This Is Easily The Most Important Rule Of Commuting in London

    This Is Easily The Most Important Rule Of Commuting in London

    One of the biggest daily issues Londoners face is avoiding acquiantances on their commute.

    Much like how planes stay in the sky through the collective will of 300 people, London’s transport system runs on the unspoken agreement that obligatory conversations about whether this week is

    a) dragging
    b) going really quickly
    c) ever going to be over!

    belong in the kitchen at work, not a Jubilee line platform pre 9am, the 07:32 Watford to Euston, or the number 38 bus.

    Although if you have a dog I may talk to you

    This is precisely why Londoners don’t look at each other on public transport.

    It’s not strangers we’re trying to avoid, it’s mistakenly locking eyes with someone we know.

    Because when that happens, you have to quickly calculate the number of possible conversation topics versus remaining tube stops, and decide whether you’re going to begrudgingly remove your headphones, or stop walking, slowly avert your gaze, turn around, walk to the opposite end of the platform, and research alternative routes to work

    Thankfully most Londoners respect the rules.

    We’ve perfected looking both directly at and through people at the same time, thus avoiding ever having to acknowledge someone’s presence.

    But sometimes people go rogue, and we’ve all felt the impending doom of a cheery ‘oh, hello, do you get this train too?’. We’ve witnessed the too-long gaps between conversations about weekends plans and office tea shortages and ‘where do you live then?’ echoing through an otherwise silent carriage.

    We’ve felt the pain of two acquaintances five minutes into their joint journey, inwardly counting down the stops, wondering how they got to this point, what they could have done differently, where did they go wrong?

    My favourite bus is an empty one

    Commuting is like brushing your teeth.

    It’s a personal, twice-daily routine you sort of weirdly look forward to, things only go wrong if you try talking at the same time.

    We all have stuff planned for that 45 minute slot: reading books (see below), listening to podcasts, silently judging everyone around us, compiling a particularly banging early noughties playlist on Spotify, or repeatedly refreshing Twitter on our phone.

    But commutes are sacred, and rules are rules: without them London doesn’t run. So stand on the right, let people off before you get on, and if you see someone you know getting on your bus, do the right thing: let them travel alone.

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  • 8 Reasons Why Commuting by Bus is LOADS Better than the Tube

    8 Reasons Why Commuting by Bus is LOADS Better than the Tube

    Recently, I broke new ground and moved to an area of London not served by the Underground.

    Faced with a daily commute from East London to the West End, and with there being no way in Peckham that I’d consider joining the peddling masses (safety concerns aside, I once caught an inadvertent full-frontal of a girl cycling in a skirt and am still shuddering at the thought), I delved into unprecedented waters…and, for the first time ever, swapped my monthly travelcard for a bus pass.

    A steadfast fan of the Tube and all its funny little ways, it came as a bit of a surprise when, within a week of moving over to the dark side, my new bus commute had totally won me over.

    Here’s why.

    1. You might actually get a seat

    You know the best thing about a bus? All that sitting down. Let’s think: do you want to start your day off with 45 minutes of leisurely book reading and a guaranteed seat with views of the outside world, orrrr… a 20 minute tube crush in a tunnel, with your face in someone’s armpit and your inky fingers from a half-read Metro grabbing tenuously onto a sweaty rail? What’s that? “The first one, please?” Correct answer! Case closed. NEXT.

    2. It’s a fair bit cheaper than the tube

    At £80-something quid for a month’s unbridled bus fun across the whole of London, this is cheap transport. Well, cheaper at any rate. Even with twenty quid’s worth of token PAYG tube travel on top, that’s still well below the £112 you’ll pay for a Zones 1-2 Travelcard. Verdict? All aboard the big red bus, first stop, More Money for Booze Street. Ding ding!

    3. You probably live closer to a bus stop

    Not only are you more likely to find a bus stop on your doorstep than a whacking great big tube station, but with all the spandangly new bus lanes cropping up, and the zillion routes tracking around town day and night – well, if you squint hard and do a shot of Tequila, you’ll see it’s pretty much door to door service.

    4. There’s plenty of time to catch up on work emails

    Haha! lolz. Jokes. No, don’t ruin it.

    5. Ok, no work emails. But you do get internet access.

    It’ll be a while until the tube gets Wifi in the tunnels. In the mean time, here’s your chance to endlessly refresh your Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and BBC News feeds until the end of time. Or Holborn, anyway.

    6. You get lots of ad-hoc sightseeing opportunities

    Alright, so we are talking about one of the busiest cities in the world. Traffic happens. But my daily trip takes me through one of London’s most historic areas, so when you’re not screaming “HURRY UP, YOU MASSIVE BUS, WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG” into the seat in front, there’s always something else to concentrate on. I’m talking the “Est 1700” signs adorning the upper levels of the oldest pubs on Fleet Street, and the impeccable details on the Royal Courts of Justice, the towering grandeur of St Paul’s Cathedral, and that road in EC1 somewhere ambiguously named “Poultry”.

    7. …and a bit of thinking space

    Finally, in between all that gazing, there’s ample time to consider life’s more important questions. Whereas back in yonder Tube days this time would have been spent thinking about all the ways I could garrotte the fat man who just hurtled through the closing doors and proceeded to squeeze his rolls uninvited into my personal space, now there are different matters on my mind. Such as, “what happens if you go the wrong way round Ikea?”, or “Who would win in a fight between a large adult male gorilla and a ferocious honey badger?”

    8. Bus rides are now BOGOF

    This year they introduced the “bus hopper” fare, which let’s you get off one bus and onto another one within the hour, without getting charged again. Given that most people actually get about eight buses to work every morning, it should come in pretty handy.

    Love the bus? Hate the bus? Don’t care because you get chauffeur driven everywhere like a legend? Let me know below.