Last week I didn’t blog because I went to Glastonbury.

And even more annoying than bloggers who apologise for not blogging because they were at Glastonbury are:

a) people who call it “Glasto”

and

b) people who then come back and proceed to tell you how er-maz-ing “Glasto” is.

I know this because up until last weekend I was one of the non-festival-goers who wrote passive aggressive “Ermagad SHAT AP” tweets and angrily clicked “hide updates” on album after album of grinning Facebook photos, and stuck my fingers in my ears and went “Sounds amazing. LAH, LAH, LAH” whenever someone tried to tell me how great it was.

So I won’t tell you about how amazing Glastonbury was. And I won’t apologise for not blogging.

I’ll just vindicate whatever viewpoint you have about it with the following quote, overheard at 3 o’clock in the afternoon as my friend and I walked past a security guard relaying information into a walkie-talkie, and then we can get back to blogging about London.

So while I sort my next post out, here are some more London blogs to keep you occupied. They’re unusual and different and concerned with documenting the little bits of London life we walk past every day (and not a sponsored post in sight).

Enjoy.

Doorditch – http://www.doorditch.co.uk/

Let’s kick off with a blog that photographs all the doors in Shoreditch, and tells the stories behind them.

From the Upper Deck – http://www.ftud.net/

Photos of the city’s inhabitants going about their daily business, all taken from the upper deck of London’s buses.

Empty Underground – http://emptyunderground.com/

James Whatley’s blog snaps the London Underground at those moments when it’s just you and your camera on the platform.

Fresh Eyes on London – http://aglimpseoflondon.blogspot.com/

Daily snapshots of London – taken all over, all the time.

Today’s Londoner – http://todayslondoner.com/

This blogger is taking one photo of a born and bred Londoner every day for a year.

i bike london – http://ibikelondon.blogspot.co.uk/

If you’re an advocate for getting about on two wheels, you will bloody love Mark Ames’ bike blog.

London On the Inside – http://londontheinside.com/

Alright, so I said no events listings – but this site does it best in my humble opinion. They know what’s going on, and sometimes that’s all you need to know.

Dogs on Trains – http://www.dogsontrains.com/

What’s that? I like dogs? Yeah. I do. And I like them even more when they’re on trains.

Phoneboxing – http://phoneboxing.com/

Another slightly unusual blog – this time documenting the things you find inside of London’s phone boxes.

 

You can see more of my London blog picks here. Got one to add?

Today it occurred to me that this sunny She Loves London outlook – well, it’s just not truly representative.

I mean, being positive is all well and good, but I know what you’re probably thinking.

Where are the stabbings? The beatings? The drug killings? Why do you ignore all the guns and crime that this beautiful city has to offer?

For a minute I thought I was clearly missing a trick. There’s a hyper-local blog niche for city-wide violence not yet filled by the Mail Online, and I could totally get involved.

But then last week I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and found myself on the receiving end of a string of really depressing London news updates, one after another, like a Misery in the City boxset of gloom. Someone else has it covered.

Bit intense, no?

London is clearly a bit mental underneath all the happy tourists, jaunty-hatted revellers and cultural shindigs.

And naturally, no one could blame you if reading all this violent news put you off your dinner, or diminished your appetite somewhat.

Speaking of which…

Anyone know where I can find some good fish and chips in London?

Oh! Hang on.

Fancy a chip?

Nah. Me neither.

In conclusion, I think I’ll stick to the good bits.

When you’ve got a blog about London, people expect you to know stuff.

“Hey!” they say, bounding up to you all expectant ‘n’ that, “You know about London. Six people, Saturday night. We want jazz with a casual hip hop interlude, a sit down dinner and a fine selection of craft beer on tap, preferably north of the river. Where can we go?”

It is at this point you invoke the Knowledgeable Face – an expression that involves pursing your lips together, looking at the sky, crinkling your brow and counting to three – before running through the options.

“Hmm. Dunno. Not a clue. I’d ask on Twitter. Or, actually – you tried TimeOut?”

“Oh, I just thought…” they begin, disappointment etched across their face like rampant teenage acne, “I just thought you might know. Because of your blog and stuff.”

Then they walk away, muttering about there should be an Ofcom for blogs or something and you call after them, “Hey! Come back! I know things! Ask me the five different types of people you can expect to meet on the tube! Ask me where the cool kids sit on the bus! Oi! 139 FANS CAN’T BE WRONG, SUNSHINE.”

It’s like look, here’s the deal.

I might not know where you can find a decent meal west of Kingsland Road, and I think I’ve been to Western Australia more times than I’ve been south of the Thames – but that’s because my social plans are an exact science.

It’s taken years to hone this stuff, to get it down, to master the art of what I like to do in London – and when I find it, I stick to it.

I’ve come along way since those heady days of wandering aimlessly around Leicester Square looking for any bar that’ll have me, and I’m quite proud of the fact that now, my social life on any given day can be pinpointed with GPS accuracy.

Sunday? New Rose. Tuesday? Carluccios and Colebrooke. Saturday? Ruby’s, then the Lion. Friday? Anywhere, god dammit, it’s Friday! Then usually Barrio. Brunch? Dalston Emporium or Bardens. Can’t go home, won’t go home? The Nest. Weekday, starving, need food? MeatLiquor. Hungry after work? Wahaca, Covent Garden. Belly dancing? Gallipoli. Fancy a walk? Hampstead Heath. Dead people? British Museum.

Ask me where to go, where’s good, what’s new, what’s happening and I will reel off one of the above.

Ask me which carriage to stand in to get on the Metropolitan line train at Baker Street and off right in front of the stairs at Pinner? Depends on the platform, but your best bet is the second pillar down near the Snack Stop.

And sometimes, when you’re a Londoner, that’s the only sort of knowledge you need.