Category: Commuting

Twice a day, every day.

  • This Is Easily The Most Important Rule Of Commuting in London

    This Is Easily The Most Important Rule Of Commuting in London

    One of the biggest daily issues Londoners face is avoiding acquiantances on their commute.

    Much like how planes stay in the sky through the collective will of 300 people, London’s transport system runs on the unspoken agreement that obligatory conversations about whether this week is

    a) dragging
    b) going really quickly
    c) ever going to be over!

    belong in the kitchen at work, not a Jubilee line platform pre 9am, the 07:32 Watford to Euston, or the number 38 bus.

    Although if you have a dog I may talk to you

    This is precisely why Londoners don’t look at each other on public transport.

    It’s not strangers we’re trying to avoid, it’s mistakenly locking eyes with someone we know.

    Because when that happens, you have to quickly calculate the number of possible conversation topics versus remaining tube stops, and decide whether you’re going to begrudgingly remove your headphones, or stop walking, slowly avert your gaze, turn around, walk to the opposite end of the platform, and research alternative routes to work

    Thankfully most Londoners respect the rules.

    We’ve perfected looking both directly at and through people at the same time, thus avoiding ever having to acknowledge someone’s presence.

    But sometimes people go rogue, and we’ve all felt the impending doom of a cheery ‘oh, hello, do you get this train too?’. We’ve witnessed the too-long gaps between conversations about weekends plans and office tea shortages and ‘where do you live then?’ echoing through an otherwise silent carriage.

    We’ve felt the pain of two acquaintances five minutes into their joint journey, inwardly counting down the stops, wondering how they got to this point, what they could have done differently, where did they go wrong?

    My favourite bus is an empty one

    Commuting is like brushing your teeth.

    It’s a personal, twice-daily routine you sort of weirdly look forward to, things only go wrong if you try talking at the same time.

    We all have stuff planned for that 45 minute slot: reading books (see below), listening to podcasts, silently judging everyone around us, compiling a particularly banging early noughties playlist on Spotify, or repeatedly refreshing Twitter on our phone.

    But commutes are sacred, and rules are rules: without them London doesn’t run. So stand on the right, let people off before you get on, and if you see someone you know getting on your bus, do the right thing: let them travel alone.

    Want something like this in your inbox every week, as well as some ideas for the weekend?



  • Good Books That Will Improve Your Terrible Commute

    Good Books That Will Improve Your Terrible Commute

    I get asked for book recommendations quite a bit. 

    On average I would say it happens about twice a week, but that’s less than the times where I give out entirely unsolicited recommendations which is about five times a week.

    In fact, if we’ve ever managed to get through a conversation without me saying “oh by the way I’ve read this really good book” and insisting that you write it down or shoving a copy into your hand before you leave my house, then maybe we’re not really friends.

    Some people bake cakes. Others throw dinner parties. I suggest books.

    Anyway if you’ve read something I’ve recommended before and liked that, there’s a chance you’ll like these too.

    And if you hated whatever I said you’d like then…you’re welcome, and I’ve also done a post with podcasts that will improve your terrible commute, so if you’re in the market for timekillers but don’t trust my taste in literature, go there.

    Annnd if we follow each other on Twitter then you probably recommended one of these to me, so there’s probably nothing new here for you. You are my guide.

    Let’s begin.

    girls-emma-cline1. The Girls – Emma Cline
    Accurately sums up teenage angst, cannot comment on whether it accurately sums up murderous cults.

    2. Girls on Fire – Robin Wasserman
    More angsty teenagers with vaguely relatable feelings doing weird stuff. Grim but readable.

    3. SweetBitter – Stephanie Danler
    Early 20s girl moves to New York, works in restaurant, does a lot of drugs. Kept reading, wasn’t totally sure why but I liked it.

    wolf-border

    4. Wolf Border – Sarah Hall
    Woman takes job introducing wolves to the Lake District. Made me want a more interesting job and also a pack of wolves.

    5. The Shepherd’s Life – James Rebanks
    Never had “biographical account of what it’s like to be a shepherd in the Lake District” on my must-read list either, but suggest you put it on yours.

    6. Open – Andre Agassi
    If you’ve got even the slightest interest in tennis and extremely famous people, Agassi’s your man. Two words: Barbara. Streisand.

    make-your-home

    7. Make Your Home Among Strangers – Jennine Capo Crucet

    Cuban girl from Miami goes to a decent university, leaves her family behind. Cultural differences ensue.

    8. Department of Speculation – Jenny Offill

    Probably don’t read this if you’re newly married. Everyone else: you’re good.

    9. Euphoria – Lily King

    Three anthropologists living among a tribe in Papua New Guinea. Apparently this is based on Margaret Mead but I didn’t know who she was before reading it. This book is very excellent.

    10. We Were Liars – E. Lockhart

    A story about kids, and a dysfunctional family, who get together every summer. Not especially cheery, but which of these books are?

    11. This is the Story of a Happy Marriage – Ann Patchett

    Essays on writing, love and life. Good for commuting because you can nail through one between stops.

    Ok. That’ll do for now. Subscribe. Follow me. Click like. RT. E-mail it. Tell your friends.  

  • 8 Reasons Why Commuting by Bus is LOADS Better than the Tube

    8 Reasons Why Commuting by Bus is LOADS Better than the Tube

    Recently, I broke new ground and moved to an area of London not served by the Underground.

    Faced with a daily commute from East London to the West End, and with there being no way in Peckham that I’d consider joining the peddling masses (safety concerns aside, I once caught an inadvertent full-frontal of a girl cycling in a skirt and am still shuddering at the thought), I delved into unprecedented waters…and, for the first time ever, swapped my monthly travelcard for a bus pass.

    A steadfast fan of the Tube and all its funny little ways, it came as a bit of a surprise when, within a week of moving over to the dark side, my new bus commute had totally won me over.

    Here’s why.

    1. You might actually get a seat

    You know the best thing about a bus? All that sitting down. Let’s think: do you want to start your day off with 45 minutes of leisurely book reading and a guaranteed seat with views of the outside world, orrrr… a 20 minute tube crush in a tunnel, with your face in someone’s armpit and your inky fingers from a half-read Metro grabbing tenuously onto a sweaty rail? What’s that? “The first one, please?” Correct answer! Case closed. NEXT.

    2. It’s a fair bit cheaper than the tube

    At £80-something quid for a month’s unbridled bus fun across the whole of London, this is cheap transport. Well, cheaper at any rate. Even with twenty quid’s worth of token PAYG tube travel on top, that’s still well below the £112 you’ll pay for a Zones 1-2 Travelcard. Verdict? All aboard the big red bus, first stop, More Money for Booze Street. Ding ding!

    3. You probably live closer to a bus stop

    Not only are you more likely to find a bus stop on your doorstep than a whacking great big tube station, but with all the spandangly new bus lanes cropping up, and the zillion routes tracking around town day and night – well, if you squint hard and do a shot of Tequila, you’ll see it’s pretty much door to door service.

    4. There’s plenty of time to catch up on work emails

    Haha! lolz. Jokes. No, don’t ruin it.

    5. Ok, no work emails. But you do get internet access.

    It’ll be a while until the tube gets Wifi in the tunnels. In the mean time, here’s your chance to endlessly refresh your Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and BBC News feeds until the end of time. Or Holborn, anyway.

    6. You get lots of ad-hoc sightseeing opportunities

    Alright, so we are talking about one of the busiest cities in the world. Traffic happens. But my daily trip takes me through one of London’s most historic areas, so when you’re not screaming “HURRY UP, YOU MASSIVE BUS, WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG” into the seat in front, there’s always something else to concentrate on. I’m talking the “Est 1700” signs adorning the upper levels of the oldest pubs on Fleet Street, and the impeccable details on the Royal Courts of Justice, the towering grandeur of St Paul’s Cathedral, and that road in EC1 somewhere ambiguously named “Poultry”.

    7. …and a bit of thinking space

    Finally, in between all that gazing, there’s ample time to consider life’s more important questions. Whereas back in yonder Tube days this time would have been spent thinking about all the ways I could garrotte the fat man who just hurtled through the closing doors and proceeded to squeeze his rolls uninvited into my personal space, now there are different matters on my mind. Such as, “what happens if you go the wrong way round Ikea?”, or “Who would win in a fight between a large adult male gorilla and a ferocious honey badger?”

    8. Bus rides are now BOGOF

    This year they introduced the “bus hopper” fare, which let’s you get off one bus and onto another one within the hour, without getting charged again. Given that most people actually get about eight buses to work every morning, it should come in pretty handy.

    Love the bus? Hate the bus? Don’t care because you get chauffeur driven everywhere like a legend? Let me know below.