She Loves London

Author: She Loves London

  • Let’s Play Ping Pong at Bounce in Holborn. Now THAT’S a Nice Idea.

    Let’s Play Ping Pong at Bounce in Holborn. Now THAT’S a Nice Idea.

    There are all sorts of “nice ideas” floating about in London.

    Harrods food hall is a nice idea – but it’s always packed and smells pungently of the wrong sort of cheese. Oxford Street is a nice idea, until you get there and want to leave.

    Most of the places you hear about – new restaurants, bars, clubs, pop-ups, fancy attractions- are nice ideas in the same way that stroking a tiger is a nice idea (lovely, cuddly, fluffy thing) but you’re not about to stump up the air fare to the forests of Asia to find out. And besides, you could see one in London Zoo. But you probably won’t, because it’s too expensive.

    Nice idea, though.

    Which was sort of my reaction when I heard about this newfangled ping pong bar in Holborn, Bounce, which is done by the same people who charge £8.95 per person to roll a ball along the floor in Bloomsbury and Brick Lane. The concept screamed nice idea right up until the bottom of the press release, where it said:

    Now, bear in mind that at the time, there were three perfectly functional free ping pong tables scattered around in Embankment Gardens and various other public spaces in London.

    This, coupled with a can of Strongbow would, I supposed, produce much the same effect as paying £26 to do it for an hour in a bar in Holborn.

    Because just think about that for a second. Twenty-six Great British Pounds for an hour of ping pong. 60 minutes of whiff whaff. 3600 seconds of table tennis.

    Not being funny, but that’s a ticket to Alton Towers.

    Ok? Ok.

    So naturally, I held off on visiting this particular nice idea.

    Until it was someone’s birthday… and they paid.

    Bounce in Holborn

    We went after work on a Friday night – which meant most of us in the group were already drunk on relief by the time we got there – and proceeded to consume more wine than you’d generally advise people to drink if you then plan on giving them a bat and bucket of incredibly light, whackable balls.

    Because despite my misgivings, Bounce was really good fun.

    In fact, you cannot know true joy until you’ve stood in a busy bar and hit a small, white, relatively harmless ball to the other side of the room and watched it ping effortlessly and painlessly off the back of a stranger’s head.

    “Sorrrrry!” I’d yell in futile apology, like the owner of a puppy that just started devouring someone’s picnic, “it just got away from me!”, before firing another in the opposite direction.

    That’s not to say I wasn’t a serious contender on the table, because we all showed some serious skills in that department, but hitting ping pong balls in a bar turned out to be a nice idea both in theory and practice.

    On which note, if anyone wants to pay for me to go again, you’re more than welcome.

  • 5 Things You Should Probably Know About Commuting by Bus in London

    5 Things You Should Probably Know About Commuting by Bus in London

    I’ve been a convert to travelling by bus ever since I moved to Stokey back in April.

    This was partly down to there not being a direct tube to work nearby, and also because moving to east London’s “trendy bit” – hurrrrgh – meant inadvertently subscribing to a lifetime of Death by Rent, wherein an inch of your soul chips away every time you check your bank balance at the beginning of each month.

    Happily, using the bus in London saves me a princely £30 on travel; money which can then be flittered away on more worthwhile pursuits – such as ordering three rounds of tequila five minutes before last orders at the bar.

    Tequila funds aside, there are lots of reasons why buses are well good. But if you’re thinking of becoming a regular on board, there are a few things you should know.

    1. This:

    Where the cool kids sit on the bus

    2. Strategically placing yourself / your bag in the aisle seat to stop anyone sitting there doesn’t work

    In fact, I’d say it’s the fastest way to ensure that someone does try to sit there. Because if there’s one thing Londoners love to do, it’s teach other Londoners a swift lesson in rush hour etiquette. Besides, everyone knows the only way to ensure no one sits next to you is to do what the bloke behind me did yesterday, and choose the seat next to a patch of dried vomit. Even then, it’s probably more hassle than it’s worth, because you’ll only have to explain to everyone who tries to sit there why they shouldn’t, and in doing so, alert the entire bus to the fact you’re sitting next to crusty sick. No, good morning to you.

    on the bus

    3. By opening the window the minute you get on, you’re basically telling your fellow passengers “Good lord, you lot stink”

    Opening the window is always a controversial move for some reason, but especially in winter. I’m always amazed by the top deck’s capacity for sitting in what basically amounts to a morning breath steam room; a place where passengers stare at the fogged glass, forlornly wiping the sweat off the windows with their sleeves as if there’s no other option. Guys, I want to say, this place smells like onions cooked in armpits. Let’s ventilate this badboy. Then I open the window. Five minutes later, the bloke next to me shuts it. No. he wants to reply. We’re fine as we are. 

    2010-10-04T08-40-56 -- DSC_0133 -- October 4th Tube Strike

    4. You don’t queue to board a bus. You bundle

    Apparently, in some parts of the country and very civilised parts of the city (i.e. Fleet Street), people form an orderly queue for a bus. Not so in the wilds of east London, where you’ll be subject to a bus stop free-for-all that no amount of audible tutting can call to order. Ultimately, It doesn’t matter if you got there first, and it doesn’t matter how much you glare. This isn’t the Post Office, mes amie  – it’s London’s very own street version of Ryanair. And that’s what elbows are for.

    Big red stop button on the bus. Mmm

    5. Don’t press “Stop” over and over and over again when the sign clearly already says “Bus Stopping”. It’s really annoying

    A symptom of the headphoned masses? Perhaps. A perfectly logical thing to happen when you have 70 people in a relatively small space all going about their business? Maybe. An affliction of adults who never really got past the childish lure of a big, shiny red “stop” button? Absolutely.

     

    Obviously this list is in no way complete, so if there’s something else you think newbie bus goers should know, leave it below.

    (+10 points for the rhyming sign off, yeaaaah!)

     

    Original bus image by jaggers, www.CGPGrey.com via Flickr

  • Lost and Found in London: That Time I Left My iPad on the Bus and Got it Back

    Last week began in much the same way as the previous one had ended: with me reaching into my pocket, tipping out the contents of my bag and realising that – for the second time in under seven days – I had lost my Oyster card. 

    Ah, Oyster Cards: the Londoner’s passport, our essential bit of kit, the one thing guaranteed to make us late when we get to the bus stop and realise it’s at home on the kitchen table, or in our other coat pocket.

    Alas, this one was in none of those places. It was doing a lap of London on the 76 bus or in someone’s lucky swag bag, along with my newly replaced work pass which also lived in the plastic holder.

    All of which would make for a pretty boring story – and an even worse blog post – if it wasn’t for what happened next. 

    Oyster card and holder

    Because about half an hour later, another Londoner found it. And they didn’t just find it, they took it back to their office, sat down at their computer, and did a bit of detective work.

    After Googling the name on my work pass, they found my Google+ profile. Which lead them to this blog. Where they located the “contact” section and an email address, and sent me a message.

    Hello,
    Bit random and advanced apologies if I have totally got the wrong person but I found an oyster card/id card on the bus this morning.
    Have you lost an oyster card??

    I replied to say yes, that was me, and at lunchtime I toddled along to Fleet Street and reclaimed my Oyster card and work pass from a very kind girl, who, upon hearing that this was my second loss in a week, also provided me with a lanyard to tie it to my person.

    Aha. Good thinking.

    The whole thing sort of reaffirmed what I’ve thought for a long time: that given the chance, most people get a better feeling from reuniting someone with a lost item than keeping it themselves.

    Lost Shoes on Adam Street in London
    Lost: two shoes. Brown. Smelly. Last seen on Adam Street.

    In fact, I will undoubtedly get kicked up the bum by karma for saying this – but I’ve got a bit of a good track record for losing things and getting them back.

    It first happened at Baker Street station a few years back, when I lost my iPod Touch and later received a hand written note through the post from the man who picked it up.

    After confirming it was mine (an admission of some dodgy UK Garage and a penchant for Evanescence seemed to do the trick – don’t judge me, it was 2008), he sent it to me recorded delivery – wouldn’t accept any postage or payment – and included a note wishing me a happy Christmas and, err, better taste in music.

    Noted.

    find my iPad

    Sometimes though, an item will find its way back to you when you absolutely least expect it. Stories abound of instances when brand new Mac Books have been left under tube seats, never to be seen again – but even in a big, busy city like London, luck can still be on your side.

    Which is a roundabout way of saying “Yes, I am that person who left their brand new iPad on the bus to work one morning because sometimes I’m an absolute idiot before 9am”

    After realising my error and banging my head against the desk repeatedly for 20 minutes, I did what every 21st Century girl does when they do something astronomically stupid: I tweeted about it.

    Which was when this happened:

    Anyone who knows north London will perhaps understand my sense of “Oh no, not there” when the little tracker dot zoomed into the Tottenham area, and then relief as it came to a stop in the bus garage, at which point I made a phone call.

    “Hello, I think my iPad is in your bus garage” I said.

    “It’s not” the lost property lady replied.

    “It is. I can see it.”

    And with that, my iPad was retrieved from the back of the bus where I’d left it, and I became the luckiest girl in London.

    PHEW.

    So if you’re also a little bit careless and generally not to be trusted with expensive technology on public transport, here are some handy little ideas that have helped me get my stuff back.

    1. Keep a slip of paper / ID card with your name or e-mail address in the pocket of your Oyster card holder. Cross your fingers. Wait a bit before cancelling, just in case (it’s not reversible)

    2. Instead of calling your phone / Mp3 player / camera phone something normal like “Jo’s iPhone”, name it with your door number and postcode. If someone plugs your kit into their computer and is greeted with a way to contact you, the guilt strings are going to get pulled and if you’re lucky like me, you’ll get your iPod Touch back.

    3. FOR GODS SAKE, ACTIVATE iCLOUD ON YOUR iPHONE OR iPAD. You can remotely locate it, erase it, lock it, send a little message saying “Give it back, you thieving monkey.”, or ride around with the police tracking the person who’s got it.

    Odds of me losing something expensive tomorrow and not getting it back? Medium to high. 

    How lucky are you?