If you’ve been tasked with writing a magazine article about East London, or are reviewing a bar, restaurant, pub, market or road in the area, don’t worry.

The trendy Hackney locals realise it can be difficult to come up with hip adjectives and arty, bearded ways to describe the scenesters and alternative moustache-wearing crowd you’re expecting to find while stumbling through the borough’s experimental decor.

So if you’re unsure of what words to include in your copy, here are some hints gathered from other well-known  guides and newspapers, which will undoubtedly serve you well when portraying a clichéd view of London’s area du jour.

Handy tip: Grabbing a pen and checking them off as you go will help to make sure you don’t use the word “hipster” twice in one sentence.

“But how does it work in practice?” I hear you wonder.

Like I said, don’t worry. These words apply to any East London establishment you wish to describe.

e.g. Car-boot sales

Bars:

And city farms, where even if the terms aren’t appropriate, they can still be used:

Keep up the good work, guysh. George Orwell would be proud.