Last Sunday I went to Hampstead Heath for a walk.
Despite what a lot of people will have you believe, there’s actually no point in going to Hampstead Heath unless you mega like dogs.
Either that or you should probably own a dog, or want to talk to dog owners about their dogs, or want your dog to meet someone else’s dog so you can say how alike they look then watch them cavort and tumble and nod with feeling when one of them leaps into a pile of fox poo, which’ll definitely happen because they’re dogs and that’s the canine equivalent of going to Alton Towers.
You could theoretically go to Hampstead Heath without wanting to do any of those things.
But why would you want to?
As the non-dog owning folk who once attempted to eat a hearty picnic spread in front of my Labradors once discovered (while I half-heartedly yelled “Charlie, ELLIE, no, leave it, oh…bugger. SORRRRRYYYYY” across the field)… it’s just not worth it.
I know what you’re thinking.
Even if you didn’t like dogs, you could still go for the views, yeah? Eat some cake at Kenwood House? Do a nice walk? Parliament Hill?
What’s that, kites? You’ve got a new kite? Want to feel like you’re in the countryside, in London?
Let me make this clear.
I’m warning you. There’s no escaping them.
The hound-shaped influx starts before you even get there, especially if you go to Hampstead by Overground or Tube.
Either way, you’re pretty much guaranteed to see some sort of wolf derivative, or at the very least a chihuahua that looks suspiciously like its owners somewhere along the way.
This time on the Northern Line, I encountered a tiny small little bear.
And by encountered, I mean located and zoned in on the empty seat beside her like a ravenous hawk, because there is nothing better than sitting next to a dog on the tube.
But that’s just the warm up.
As soon as you leave the tube station at Hampstead, they’re everywhere.
Seriously, you can’t move for dogs in this part of London.
I think this is because everyone has enough money to buy big houses – proper ones with stairs (stairs!) and stuff – and therefore can easily accommodate Proper Sized Dogs into their life plan.
You don’t really get that in Dalston, where life plans generally stop at “should I eat eggs for breakfast today”.
It’s also a good place to go on Sunday if you have a hangover.
All the animals running around will appease the anxious, vulnerable, life-questioning feeling of dread you’re currently experiencing, but if that doesn’t work then the Heath is also conveniently surrounded by loads of really, really good pubs.
And guess what?
Most of those have loads of dogs in too.
Some pubs quite frankly go above and beyond the call of duty, like the Spaniard’s Inn.
This pub is pretty well known for loads of reasons, Dickens and Keats and stuff, but its most notable feature is allowing your dog to have a shower before dinner.
Anyway this time we went to the Flask in Hampstead, and took Buster with us.
Buster is my friend Emily’s dog and he’s basically well cool.
Case in point: this was his face when we told him that we’d managed to book a table in the one bit of the pub where dogs weren’t allowed, which meant he would have to sit on one side of the threshold (dark wood), while we consumed vast quantities of red wine and beef on the other (light wood).
In case you can’t read dog expressions, this one is “sod that.”
All in all, going to Hampstead Heath on a Sunday is an excellent idea.
But only if you like dogs.
Haha loved this! I don’t live in London but I would love to move there someday in the future and I also am a huuuge dog lover. So this post was spot on!
I just followed you on Bloglovin, can’t wait to read more! (I would be so happy if you checked out my blog too!)
Laura x
alifeindisguise.blogspot.com
Thanks Laura. London would be happy to have you when you make it down. There’s more than enough dogs to go round, especially in Hampstead. I’ll pop over to your blog now 🙂
Loved this blog post! I just don’t understand people who wouldn’t want to go to a park and just pet dogs! It sounds like the perfect sunday to me! I found it so hard owning a dog in London. There aren’t nearly enough dog shops in london. Great post!
I don’t understand it either. There are strange, non-dog loving people in the world. It doesn’t sit well with me.
I hardly every see a freakish amount of dogs in this area…. oh god, the dogs are avoiding me, aren’t they? They hate me! How did this happen? Was it my love of cats that turned them away from me?
Weird. I see so many dogs in Hampstead. Having given it some thought, I’d guess that either the dogs are avoiding you, or they’re following me. (Sort of hope it’s the latter.)
Seriously, as offensive as an article against children. The are everywhere and nobody complains about them, do they? And they are noisier than dogs. Dogs are our children, so stop complaining about them or simply forbid children outdoors too.
Have a great day in the park (not, as I´ll be sitting next to you with my lovely Labrador puppy).
Hiiii Fatima, this article is written by someone who loves dogs and went to Hampstead Heath with a dog, and met a dog on the tube on the way and purposefully sat next to it, and owns dogs (labradors! snap) and takes them to Hampstead Heath, and is therefore warning people who don’t like dogs not to bother going to Hampstead Heath, because I will be there with my dogs
I think maybe you mis-read this somehow but also, that’s ok, please sit next to me with your puppy, I’d love it.
Hello, I just stumbled across your blog post and I think it’s brilliant. You have summed up the magical Hampstead Heath beautifully!
Warren
Glad you think so, Warren 🙂 Happy dog walking.
Hi, i might be the odd one here. But I‘m a Hampstead Heath lover who lives 3 mins away and for the last 11 years has been either walking in the heath, running, or just sitting somewhere on a bench to calm down and relax when life’s hectic pace gets the better of her. I never minded dogs in the heath, even though I am not used to them. In fact some dogs are cute and funny, others just beautiful once their owner brings them close for you to pat them. But lately the situation is getting out of control with the number of dogs and the behaviour of their owners. I had two separate incidents where one dog jumped at me from behind while I was jogging and almost bit me (then again he might have been playing and that’s why I never thought much of it. But a month ago a more serious incident occurred when 3 dog walkers were not in control of their dogs and I ended up with around 4 middle sized dogs running at me while I am jogging and surrounding me and barking violently. The only thing that stopped them short from attacking me was me screaming my head off in utter fear! It started with one dog then the others followed and I could even walk away as every time I did they ran at me again. The person in charge would just call the dogs from a distance ( trying to teach them discipline at my expense). Only when I shouted begging her to come get her dogs did she move and control the situation. Since then honestly I only managed to go a few times to the Heath and each time it was a stressful experience as I would try to avoid professional dog walkers, people who let their dogs run to loose and play with other people ( at times annoying them) just because they assume everyone must be a dog lover or used to them. Dogs have a right to be in parks, but owners need to act responsibly and not assume the Heath is all theirs alone -which I feel this post is promoting. Today due to the high number of dogs I got stressed and tired of finding new path without luck so I just gave up running, something I enjoyed before work. I love Hampstead heath and feel extremely sad that after 11 years of enjoying it I might be forced to join a gym or walk on weekends when I have the time to go to Regent park, which is okay as a par but not Hampstead Heath.
I agree. The problem is that the inconsiderate dog owners are outnumbering the considerate dog owners.
Particularly dog owners who don’t keep their pets on a lead, and expect everyone to be thrilled when their dogs comes running at you.