Category: London Life Survival Guides

Tips and tricks to make living in London that little bit easier.

  • Film4 Summer Screen at Somerset House: A Rainy Day Survival Guide

    Film4 Summer Screen at Somerset House: A Rainy Day Survival Guide

    Some things in life are inevitable.

    Like how the Overground train doors will always just be closing as you reach the platform, and how there will almost certainly be a heatwave in London while you’re on holiday.

    Oh! And the one year you manage to get tickets for the annual Film4 Summer Screen event at Somerset House, rest assured: there will be torrential rain all day.

    So British” read the caption on the weekend’s photos; my friends and I huddled together under a blanket of plastic ponchos, picnic laid out on bin liner clad picnic blankets clutching cups of Irish coffee.

    Nevertheless, we braved the downpours and got stuck in to Saturday night’s double bill: the brilliant Sexy Beast followed by 100 minutes of Ryan Gosling in Drive. And you know what? Biblical deluge or shine, I’d happily do it all again next year.

    So here are some tips if you’re heading to Somerset House to watch a film in the middle of the summer’s worst rain storm.

    Somerset House Film4 Summer Screen (in the rain)

    Do…

    Arrive early to get a good spot. Preferably not behind the people who have built a sizable (but nevertheless impressive) tent structure out of umbrellas; all of which will fly backwards into your face when a gust of wind hits.

    Don’t…

    Spend £5 on sub-standard plastic ponchos from the Pound Shop in an array of slightly embarrassing colours before you arrive. Happily, the folk at Somerset House supplied us with free plastic macs complete with a “Film4” logo on the back, so everyone knew we’d spent £18 to watch a film in the rain. That being said, the poncho not only makes for a water repelling device, but a fashionable yet functional souvenir, too.

    Do…

    Bring booze – lots of booze – but not in cans or glass containers. In lieu of decanted Lambrini, we recommend a selection of Your Mate’s Finest Homemade Punch in an Evian bottle (ingredients: everything), several litres of ready mixed G&T and of course, a flask of coffee mixed with Baileys to warm the cockles.

    Don’t…

    Forget to bring an entire pack of bin liners. Wrap your pillows in them. Lay them beneath your picnic blanket. Use them as a sleeping bag. Fashion them into a hat. Wear them on your feet. Put them everywhere. Remember, when Ryan Gosling is on the screen, no one will judge you for using kitchen basics to keep dry.

    Do…

    Bring a huge fleecey blanket to wrap yourself in. The sofa throw will do nicely. Failing that, bring a sleeping bag. We were seriously jealous of the couple in front of us who had one, slightly less so when they wrung it out at the end and expelled an entire cloud’s worth of rain onto the floor. But that’s where the bin bags come in. See? Always thinking.

    Don’t…

    Whinge and go home mid-way, or not turn up at all because of the weather. Trust me – the films will be excellent. The company will be better still. There are hand dryers in the loos if you get really wet. But you will have fun, watch films in an entirely beautiful surroundings of Somerset House, get a bit drunk, and almost certainly end up adding  the experience to the list of things to do in the summer* in London.

    *where summer means inevitable rain.

    If you’re going this year and want more tips, take a look at my guide on what to bring to Somerset House.

    Somerset House Film 4 summer screen

    Did you go? Did you get rained on? Tell me all your thoughts. It may be tipping it down, but we can still bask in the warm rays of collective enjoyment.

  • 8 Reasons Why Commuting by Bus is LOADS Better than the Tube

    8 Reasons Why Commuting by Bus is LOADS Better than the Tube

    Recently, I broke new ground and moved to an area of London not served by the Underground.

    Faced with a daily commute from East London to the West End, and with there being no way in Peckham that I’d consider joining the peddling masses (safety concerns aside, I once caught an inadvertent full-frontal of a girl cycling in a skirt and am still shuddering at the thought), I delved into unprecedented waters…and, for the first time ever, swapped my monthly travelcard for a bus pass.

    A steadfast fan of the Tube and all its funny little ways, it came as a bit of a surprise when, within a week of moving over to the dark side, my new bus commute had totally won me over.

    Here’s why.

    1. You might actually get a seat

    You know the best thing about a bus? All that sitting down. Let’s think: do you want to start your day off with 45 minutes of leisurely book reading and a guaranteed seat with views of the outside world, orrrr… a 20 minute tube crush in a tunnel, with your face in someone’s armpit and your inky fingers from a half-read Metro grabbing tenuously onto a sweaty rail? What’s that? “The first one, please?” Correct answer! Case closed. NEXT.

    2. It’s a fair bit cheaper than the tube

    At £80-something quid for a month’s unbridled bus fun across the whole of London, this is cheap transport. Well, cheaper at any rate. Even with twenty quid’s worth of token PAYG tube travel on top, that’s still well below the £112 you’ll pay for a Zones 1-2 Travelcard. Verdict? All aboard the big red bus, first stop, More Money for Booze Street. Ding ding!

    3. You probably live closer to a bus stop

    Not only are you more likely to find a bus stop on your doorstep than a whacking great big tube station, but with all the spandangly new bus lanes cropping up, and the zillion routes tracking around town day and night – well, if you squint hard and do a shot of Tequila, you’ll see it’s pretty much door to door service.

    4. There’s plenty of time to catch up on work emails

    Haha! lolz. Jokes. No, don’t ruin it.

    5. Ok, no work emails. But you do get internet access.

    It’ll be a while until the tube gets Wifi in the tunnels. In the mean time, here’s your chance to endlessly refresh your Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and BBC News feeds until the end of time. Or Holborn, anyway.

    6. You get lots of ad-hoc sightseeing opportunities

    Alright, so we are talking about one of the busiest cities in the world. Traffic happens. But my daily trip takes me through one of London’s most historic areas, so when you’re not screaming “HURRY UP, YOU MASSIVE BUS, WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG” into the seat in front, there’s always something else to concentrate on. I’m talking the “Est 1700” signs adorning the upper levels of the oldest pubs on Fleet Street, and the impeccable details on the Royal Courts of Justice, the towering grandeur of St Paul’s Cathedral, and that road in EC1 somewhere ambiguously named “Poultry”.

    7. …and a bit of thinking space

    Finally, in between all that gazing, there’s ample time to consider life’s more important questions. Whereas back in yonder Tube days this time would have been spent thinking about all the ways I could garrotte the fat man who just hurtled through the closing doors and proceeded to squeeze his rolls uninvited into my personal space, now there are different matters on my mind. Such as, “what happens if you go the wrong way round Ikea?”, or “Who would win in a fight between a large adult male gorilla and a ferocious honey badger?”

    8. Bus rides are now BOGOF

    This year they introduced the “bus hopper” fare, which let’s you get off one bus and onto another one within the hour, without getting charged again. Given that most people actually get about eight buses to work every morning, it should come in pretty handy.

    Love the bus? Hate the bus? Don’t care because you get chauffeur driven everywhere like a legend? Let me know below.

  • 5 Types Of People You’ll Encounter On The Tube

    5 Types Of People You’ll Encounter On The Tube

    If you commute into or around London every day, chances are you’ll know your fellow passengers very well indeed.

    Maybe not by name, but most likely by sight, and occasionally by your own silently given moniker – “sunglasses girl”, “loud phone woman”, or, “that bloke you thought was hot until he repeatedly picked his nose and ate it on the platform at Baker Street the other day” (true story. Nothing breaks the heart and turns the stomach like seeing a good looking boy having a bogey breakfast on the Bakerloo Line. Sad face.)

    But for the most part, you’ll recognise certain commuters because every station, carriage and tube line has their own version. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to…

    1. The Wacky Racers

    Recognise them by: the nervous sideways glance they’ll give you as you as the tube pulls into the platform. These commuters aren’t in a rush for any reason, they’re just on a one-man mission to be the first person off the tube. After sizing up their competitors, they’re up and standing by the doors before the next stop is even announced, ready to run.  This ain’t a commute sunshine, it’s a goddamn race.

    2. The Newspaper Nuisance

    Recognise them by: the tutting, shuffling, perturbed gang of commuters on either side. There’s barely room to swing an Oyster Card in the crush, but that doesn’t stop this space invader from bringing the FT, Daily Telegraph or worse still, The Daily Mail (what it loses in size, it makes up for with offensive headlines) onto the busy tube and reading it at full spread. When it comes to newspapers, less is more. Fold it in half or face the silent wrath – and occasional elbow – of your neighbouring passengers.

    3. The Drunken Monkey

    Recognise them by: the ambiguous stains on their jeans (could be kebab, more likely vomit), missing shirt buttons and lolling head. The seat beside this commuter will nearly always be free, but do yourself a favour and avoid it at all costs. If you must enter the danger zone, proceed with care. And always have a camera phone ready to capture any good ‘uns for comedy value.
    Uh oh.
    Sorry, dude.

    4. The Very Angry Caterpillars

    Recognise them by: the frantic activity (pointing gestures, outraged facial expressions) through the window, followed by an irate, window-rattling yell of “CAN YOU MOVE DOWN, PLEASE“. Having issued their directives from the platform, the Angry Caterpillars will proceed – with accompanying tuts and hurumphs – to squeeze into a previously invisible space using a barrage of elbows, bag swinging, and audible muttering until the inevitable awkward silence descends. On a particularly fraught commute, it is not unusual to come across a succession of them. All are best ignored.

    5. The Entertainer

    Recognise them by: ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ts ts ts ch ch ch ch ch ti ti ti ti ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch, and these:Cheap earphones: the commuter's nemesis.Usually head nodding, occasionally rapping / tappin’ to da beat, always oblivious to the disapproving looks from those around them; the Entertainer shuns noise-reducing Sennheisers in favour of earphones that provide a live, treble-heavy musical broadcast to the rest of the carriage. Only the brave (or the Angry Caterpillar) will dare to make the “volume-down” gesture, and the best course of action is to counter the tinny assault with your own music.
    Failing that, always have the other London travel essential to hand: a pointed, steely glare.

    If I’ve missed off someone as always, do let me know.